I’m constantly hearing about special or wise people, people that are better than the most of us. Let it be scientists, university teachers, modern philosophers, writers, I hear names that seem more important than mine.

And if this wasn’t enough, I even talk with people that think that they are quite something themselves, much different and wiser than the rest of us.

Heck, my experience tells me that generally, nobody is that special.

Destruction

I am going to destruct the major/common opinion in two examples. The thinking is up to you, try to put faces on the following paradigms.

The writer / poet / scientist / artist.

We imagine someone quite known, like the writer Fydor Dostoyevski. I call him “the greatest”, but what did he do? He wrote books, stories of people that certainly went deep into describing the subconscious of their characters. So, what? Is it something that other people can’t do? Not everyone can do it of course, but many people can. It isn’t an ability so rare, that’s for sure.

Then, Salvator Dali, a well-known artist with many psychedelic paintings. What did he do? He painted what he saw in his dreams. Is it something that many other people can’t do? No.

Hmmm, Einstein. A well-known scientist, recognized as The smart human. Do you think that he made up by himself all the things that he wrote? No, he just made a small step forward on the path that many scientists had walked before him. Are there no other scientists? There are, for sure.

And I agree that they are better that the average person, but that happens in their own field of expertise. In the end, they don’t happen to stand out too much in a matter of general abilities.

But let’s take a look at them as people. If you asked them, do you think that they would know something more about the meaning of life than you? No. Do you think that they led a much happier and contentious life than you? Probably not. In reality, many top-on-their-field people can be compared to children considering their personal maturity. Or at least, they aren’t much different than the average adult.

The person in front of you that thinks that he is special.

Setting aside all these “celebrities”, take a look at the person sitting in front of you. He thinks that he is special for some reason (because he plays in a big football team, because he reads difficult literature etc.) but YOU CAN SEE his faults and gaps. Not only isn’t he special, but he may even be part of that large percentage of mediocre people that overly exaggerate about their personal value.

Is there anyone wiser than you?

Simply, have you even known someone that really knows more about life than yourself? He may know more about society, that’s a matter of years of experience, but does he know more about being happy than yourself? Does he seem like he is content with his reality? Does he seem like he wants to teach nothing to noone? Does he seem like he knows that he is a mere “ant”? There is a big chance that this person is much wiser than your average “wise”.

So…

Nobody is wise, nobody knows more about life than you do, nobody is quite special. Simple stuff.

Read also: The way for a happy life – Be small!

Anyway, let’s leave that indroductory generalization and step into the main subject of this post.

Just because “human relationships” are the one and only important thing in our lives (I said, like it or not), I have strong evidence that “love/erotic relationships” are maybe the MOST important thing in our lives. Ok, I may exaggerate a bit, but you can take a look by yourself and see that love relationships have indeed a massive power on our future personalities, in the course of our lives etc.

Love relationships as bookmarks.

Talking about common love relationships, they usually cover a months-long timespan. I say, that personality changes usually occur over similar periods, about 5 months or so (if they happen to occur of course). So, there is a good chance that one of your major personality changes happened on the time between some relationship and another. Now, since love relationships are a scarce thing (you can’t have more than, let’s say, 30 in your life) they tend to be a “shock” memory” in your mind, in other words a thing that always stands out as a point on your imaginary calendar.

Memory works better when you confront it.

But, even if you think that you can remember quite a few things about love relationships of the past, I bet that you only access some fragments of the total memories in your mind. And there is not better way to remember something as good as possible that confronting/discussing/living with the people that shared that memory with you.

Some old love may be the best way to understand yourself.

Call some ex of yours. What? Just by thinking about doing this you feel nervous? You didn’t expect this? Well, not having talked with a person for some years makes you a kind of stranger to them.

Find your ex. In the most kind of ways (because the break up could have been very bad), arrange a friendly rendez-vous.

Then it’s up to you to remember things that you had forgotten, to see sides of you that you hadn’t seen, to stare at a person that once was your lover and understand how things change, to give happiness to some person that you had left out of your life, to put one more piece in the place of that puzzle called “yourself”…

Now really, DO IT! You have nothing to lose and by personal experience it’s one of the most rewarding things that you can do for yourself this month…

The river shape – The flow

We may refer to “the flow” most times as “an enhanced way of perceiving” (see Flow on Wikipedia for more) but sometimes it can be a bad situation in your life – See it as a flow that drags you without being able to react. Some people call it routine. To be more precise, when you do something for a long time without major changes in its execution (living for example – yes! living!), you can visualize that certain action taking a “river shape”. You are in the flowing river of actions, on a path that has been forged by routine – You are in a diminished state of awareness. You can’t control a river. Well, you shouldn’t want your life to have the river shape.

Break the (bad) flow

Calling the flow “bad” or “good” may sound like “good” and “bad” cholesterol, which is a great generalization, but I think that you get the point.

Just have a break. It’s personal experience talking here: Any problem that I ever had and seemed like a big and difficult situation always transformed to a small nuance just when I went on vacations or returned for a while to my home village. You don’t have to shock your routine in a big way…

…it’s just an issue of environments.

Just like a fish can’t survive outside its environment (…ummm… the sea), a problem can’t survive (at least easily) outside its own environment. Making a problem weaker is the first step to solving it.

Having problems that are work related, take a break from work (total break). Having problems that are gym related, take a break for the gym (yes, it has physical appliance as well). Having problems with your “significant other”? Well, take a break from that relationship.

* Irrelevant Thing * Something amazing happened just now!  I was reading the post before posting it and the moment that I was in the part that says “…significant other…” there was that song called “By the monument” by Maximo Park playing in the background and it seems that it has those words in the lyrics… And it I heard it by chance just when I was reading those two words… It’s so creepy!.. And it’s my first time listening to that song…

Generally, it’s a rule that works: Breaks are essential to everything. And in the end, life itself supports the idea of breaks – They exist in the core of most living organisms – See what I’m talking about here. Probably life knows better that you, right?

You are too small.

And the world is too big. It’s just a matter of variables: You are one variable and your environment is infinite variables. Even if you really have control over your actions – which you don’t -, even then how can you control everything else? Our mind is not made to create a future: Just sit back and enjoy the ride…

…or become angry and dissapointed.

Where do people usually make the mistake of thinking too deep in the future?

• A romantic relationship: You make dreams for years in the future, for marriage and kids but you can’t predict the wonderful person that will show up tommorow and “steal your heart”.
• A friendly relationship: You become so much used to a person’s company that you arrange a future based partially on his/her influence. But you can’t predict that you will be bored of him tomorrow/or that he will die in a car crash.
• A day’s planning: You say that you will go for dinner at night, but you can’t predict that terrible headache that will make you stay at home

Do you get the point? You never had any control over your life: We are spectators and commentators, maybe even actors, but definitely not directors of our life.

The “first step only” rule.

Of course, these are generalizations. We can predict things according to circumstances and we should try to abide to the possibilities. But when we think about the future we should keep in mind the the second step to any action is too “far away”  for us to be able to predict. Think about “the first step” only.

You are going to hit on a woman/man that you like? The “first step” prediction is the arrangement of the “hitting on” situation. Thinking about the probable response is a “second step”: Stay away from this – Anything except the first step is not at all dependent on your behavior.

The “first step” always consists of half of you. You create a situation inside an environment – Half is you and half is the environment variables. But the second step doesn’t have any of you – It’s just million of possibilities that you don’t know of.

Keep it to “one step” or…

…become angry, unsatisfied, scared, misunderstood, dumb, endangered and many more bad words .

Anyway, following the first step rule can also help you do things that you wouldn’t otherwise do. Think about how many times you were prevented to do something just by the image of a bad occurence that you predicted as a consequence. The first-step alone rarely contains fear – It’s pure impulse.

And some more words…

Life is full of unforeseen happenings, of random incidents and interesting things. I am not able to really predict anything even in the next few seconds of my life – Why should I bother with arranging the future? In the end, that’s why life is interesting. The one day you send roses to the woman that you love and the other day you don’t even want to see her. Interesting…

I mean, there is a first time for meeting anyone: Your friends, your lovers, even your parents.

It’s definite that people are of utmost importance to each other. You probably can’t live alone, except if your are a god or a beast. You need others to BE something, you need others to WANT something, you need others to HAVE something. Of course, the overhuman is the one that will surpass all of these limitation, but that’s another subject to open.

So, we can say that:

1. There is always a first-time meeting for everyone.
2. Other people are the basis of our lives.

But it’s not only the amount of people that matters. People are different from each other: You can name them one by one, each one of them having a different effect in YOUR life.

So, are people that much important?

There were some few times that I told to someone: “Well, I really can’t imagine my life before meeting you”. And, yes, there was quite some truth in this statement of mine, but after some time and some variations in the circumstances of each relationship, I came to say: “I had been living long before I met that someone and I will still be living after he leaves my side”.

People are important only when you want them to.

Once again, the cause of the problem is (guess what?): YOU! It’s just the need to make your things look important. You WANT everyone to be important to you, just to believe that YOU are important.

People are replaceable.

Have fun with people, share emotions with people, believe in them, love them… But always keep in mind. There are so many people that you haven’t met yet, so many possibilities. People are easily replaceable.

You know that voice right? – That voice inside you that always tells you what NOT to do: “Don’t stand up for your right!“, “Don’t punch that idiot that made you feel bad!“, “Don’t talk to that woman that you like“.

Don’t, don’t and don’t. Believe me, any kind of positive change is always a sum of various DOs!

The nature of the voice.

I would call that voice an expression of you inner fears. It’s just a mechanism that prevents you from taking unnecessary risks. That may would have worked in a life with constant danger but in our society fear can only hold you back. Accept the fact that fear has held you back many times in your life: It has happened to anyone of us. Can’t you find any people in your past that were very “free” and always had the good stuff happening around them?

Recognize the voice.

The first step to start gaining from this voice is to recognize it.

The easiest way is like this: (for men that is – try finding an equivalent situation if you are a woman) Go out to a cafe/bar. Look around. See any woman that you really like? If you do, think about going to talk to her. You will probably hear a voice inside you that tells you something like “Well, you are not good enough for her” or “Come on, you are not in the mood today, do it tomorrow”. I call this: “The fist step to NOT succeed”.

Now, remember that voice. Can you recognize its instances in other parts of your life? Can you recall that “burning feeling” in your stomach that it comes with? Create a mind-alarm that always notifies you: “Hey! That’s the voice!”.

The only difficult step: Overcoming the voice.

Now, trust me. There is one major step to making that voice work for you. That is to overcome it once: Then you will be able to use the memory of that achievement and do whatever you want.

Just get in a situtation where “the voice” tells you what NOT to do. For example, some person somewhere makes you angry for some reason (generic situation, huh? ). You would normally be patient and say nothing. Now, do the difference: Stand up and say what you want. It doesn’t have to happen in an angry way, just say what you want to say.

You will almost definitely feel very good and satisfied with yourself. Remember the feeling. Remember the pattern of the situations.

Fuck the voice/Make use of the voice.

Learn to ignore the voice, but even better make the voice a way to understand when you really want to do something. I mean, when the voice says DON’T, be sure that you have to DO it!

Try it once. Even better make it a part of your life, being fearless. Be able to really listen to what your mind says. Turn the DON’Ts into DOs. Be happier.

The word doesn’t need philosophers (?)

The cradle of philosophy was ancient Greece (and more specifically ancient Athens). Back then philosophers used to be of utmost importance to the society, they were highly respectable people. Bring to your mind Plato, one of the most important philosophers in history: He was totally influential to his city (as in “country” back then), his subjects of interest included philosophy as well as rhetoric, logic and mathematics and he left us students like Aristotle (which means that his philosophy stayed alive and evolved).

Looking for philosophers.

Are there people like this today? Probably no. There may be highly influential people, there may be excellent studiers of rhetoric or mathematics, there may be people that leave their stigma after their death, but there are no people that combine all of these attributes. I guess that this situation is simply the result of the society’s mechanics: We don’t need philosophers – we don’t allow them to exist.

When did philosophers die?

One of the greatest philosophers ever, Nietzsche, died on 1900. It wasn’t until recently that true philosophers ceased to exist. Is it a coincidence that the great industrial age was on its starters? I think that this is the situation that made philosophers unnecessary.

Why?

The industrial age brought up both a tremendous evolvement in the number and depth of the scientific areas and an over-abundance of luxuries.

• Today’s science demands special abilities in certain fields. One isn’t able anymore to excel in many fields, thus making the existence of a philosopher (one that is broadly oriented) unnecessary.
• The over-abundance of luxuries creates for us an environment that does not promote original philosophical thought.
• Our modern religions provide pre-fabricated truths for everybody. No one needs to think about death; They “know” about it (or so they believe). And as a great philosopher said “Philosophy is thinking/studying about death”.

Do we need philosophers?

There are so many things that have been already said or written that it’s almost unfeasible to create original thought nowadays. I suggest to anyone that wants to learn about great thoughts from the greatest minds that have ever lived to study 2 things:

1. Ancient greek philosophy – Probably contains everything you need and it is so vast that you won’t be able to read everything in two lives.
2. Friedrich Nietzsche’s work – Probably the most original thought of the latest centuries even if he still walks on ancient Greeks’ footsteps.

(to be continued)

Let me propose three interesting ways to “squeeze” every experience-goodness from your past life:

1. The photo album

I generally don’t like photographs: They are like worshiping a mere moment of life, they are many times very “set up” and they can also make you feel bad (especially if you are old). But photographs have an amazing power to dig the deepest memories in your mind. You can be shocked at how many things you have forgotten over the last years, just by taking a look at a photo album.

How do we gain experience from that? By looking at yourself in a picture you look someone with different thoughts than you, someone that would react differently to many things. You can compare you to that person (your past self) and see where you have improved and where you should have. You can look at yourself from a third-person point of view and probably out of an emotionally-charged state: Mistake back then? – Mistake if you repeat it again.

Check out also the people around you in the photos. Remember what they said back then? Did they stand up to their words? Did they behave badly? Do you recognise any signs of bad behavior in your photos? Don’t forget the behavioral patterns of others and you won’t be late to react for a second time.

2. Your diaries/poems/personal notes.

These three things are possibly the most emotional remnants of your past. Read a love poem that you wrote one year ago. Remember when you were crying back then about a woman? Now, does she worth anything in your life? Probably not: Learn that emotions are quite temporary. Also learn that many times our intense feelings tend to “blind” our valuable logic. Generally, compare your “emotional-blinded” self with your present one. Gain experience and act better in the future.

3. The discussions

Grab a person that was close to you in the past and take him/her out for a coffee. Should it be your ex-girlfriend, your ex-boyfriend or a friend that isn’t anymore, it doesn’t matter. Sit in a table and talk about your common experiences in the past. Ask him about how he perceived things back then from his/her point of view: Compare that with your own thought of back then. Do you see how many times we may not understand what people are thinking? If this doesn’t fill you with everyday-applicable experience, then you probably are deaf and blind: Consult a doctor.

“A wise man does not make the same mistake for a second time“. That’s what people say; I agree. Learn from your past and act accordingly in the present. But always have in mind that what’s “good” for someone may not also be “good” for you. You may judge things only in perspective with YOUR ideals: Dogmas and “unproven truths” aren’t “good” for smart people.

Want to do something? Just do it!

It’s all a matter of believing in something and wanting it much. No one stopped smoking before he absolutely decided to. If your will is strong, it’s quite rare to not be able to achieve anything in a given time.

This blog post is small…

…because there isn’t much to say. The simple way to do anything… is doing it. Really, stand back for a while and take a look at the situtation: Someone else (human probably, like you) has already done this and it’s not that difficult. Stop acting like a kid… don’t lie to yourself about your abilities.

An example of being able to do anything if you try.

Another example…

So…

Decide something and focus on doing it. Anything else is lying to yourself.

Electric muscle stimulation, complicated starve-diets, training machines, personal trainers, pills, light foods… All of these are the epitome of CRAP! In a society that suffers from fatness and unhealthiness, clever marketers don’t waste their time and gain money from all of our health problems.

Once again, let me say: It’s so simple!

There are only two things that a great body needs:

1. Training – Go to the gym or just get out there with your running shoes (and run ). Simple? Hell yeah.
2. Nutrition – Healthy diet and normal calorie intake. Simple? Definitely.

WE make it difficult.

You see, it should be common sense that every person works out everyday and it should be common sense that people don’t eat at McDonald’s more than once per week. But our everyday life has become so much depended on machines and not depended on our own body’s abilities that we are becoming an anomaly. Anyway, we can correct this.

About working out.

Everyone should work out at least 3 times per week. That’s a rule: If you don’t follow it, you won’t be healthy.

• Any workout should contain a cardio-training and a resistance-training part.
• Walking is not an option: Running is the only thing that would work.
• The resistance training is very important for a healthy body: Go to they gym and ask for a program. Don’t have the fear of getting bulky: No one got bulkier without trying TOO hard. You can’t get bulky by accident, believe me.
• If you are not sweating and feeling somewhat tired you are doing nothing special.

About nurtition/diet.

These are cliche-stuff. Everyone knows them. Let me repeat them once more.

You should eat breakfast everyday. Then fill your day with three-four more meals once every 3-4 hours.

• Don’t eat fast food.
• Don’t eat heavily processed foods.
• Don’t eat much fat (not much does not mean none – fat is important in low quantities).
• Do cook your own food using fresh ingredients.
• Do consume many vegetables and fruits.
• Do have a variety in foods.

It’s so common sense that it makes me feel stupid to write these. Since I’m acting so stupid let me say the most important one: Do not eat too much! Even if you follow the healthiest diet you won’t ever be lean if you consume more energy than you spend.

Simple math:

• Eat more than you burn = Get fat.
• Eat what you burn = Stay as you are.
• Eat less than you burn = Lose weight.

The great body is a combination of working out and dieting.

Following a diet alone is not going to make you great. Losing weight means that you both lost fat and muscle. That muscle can only be kept on your body (you want that) only if you do some resistance training. Simple things once again.

Why do all these?

I’ll get deeper into the subject on an upcoming post but in a few words: All that you are, that is your body. You are your body. Body=You=Existence=World. All your thoughts and senses are created by this body. A machines that is in a crappy condition works like crap. You get the point.

How to do all these?

Before I got for the first time to the gym I thought it would be much to tiring for me. I had no passion.

I just had to push myself and go for the first time. Then, it immediately became the thing that I long for everyday. It became a wonderful routine. Maintaining a nice diet is also a similar thing: You just have to be determined.

In the end, if you are unhealthy and bored to do something about it, don’t do anything. Sit there in your couch, watch some tv, eat some chips, go take a dump, sweat, sleep, die… and let the rest of us enjoy the fruits of life. Or join us. Just make a choice. Simple things.

Photo by http://flickr.com/photos/aknacer/2453798492/