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Relationships, be them friendly or erotic, can be a real trouble at times. Perhaps, relationships between people is the only thing that causes trouble.

When something is wrong, it’s the fault of both sides.

A man who lies to himself, and believes his own lies, becomes unable to recognize truth, either in himself or in anyone else, and he ends up losing respect for himself and for others. When he has no respect for anyone, he can no longer love, and in him, he yields to his impulses, indulges in the lowest form of pleasure, and behaves in the end like an animal in satisfying his vices. And it all comes from lying-to others and to yourself.

Fyodor Dostoevsky

Lies create lies. That’s the only way that lies go. In any relationship except the family ones, think about what is the thing that connects people together: that is “words”. Make them lies and you create a rotten link between people.

Whatever has a beginning, has an end.

Be real. And do this from the start. There are many examples of erotic relationships that end in a series of months full of arguing and hate. Why? Because the foundations of the relationship did not include the idea of ending. When a relationship begins, both parts should be fully aware that it will finally come to an end. There should always be a conversation about the end. And that’s only a basic thing to do. The next level is an agreement: When one of the two participants in a relationship feels unsatisfied by it, he/she should immediately express it. This is truth and can help to either reestablish the relationship, or to end it before the decline begins.

Make truth both the beginning and the end of everything.

There is nothing better than a relationship that starts as true feelings and ends like true feelings. Let’s take a practical example: You are a man and next to you sits a woman that you truly like. The truthful beginning of a relationship could be for the man to admit to her that he likes her. “I like you”, that’s true! Fake are the obscure ways that people use to create a situation that benefits them.

An end is the beginning of something else.

Now it happens that these two people create a relationship. After some time, the woman feels bored. It’s bad and fake to argue with the man for no apparent reason, but because she somehow needs to express her discomfort with the relationship. So it’s absolutely right for her to confess her feelings to the other person as soon as she feels them. Say “It’s the end. It was good while it lasted.”

All kinds of relationships are practically the same.

What is the difference between friendly (for example man-man, woman-woman) and erotic (man-woman) relationships? There is not much! It’s just some kisses and sex added in the erotic, but all other aspects stay the same. Friends or lovers, they all need respect and attention. And at the same time, all the things that I said earlier apply to all kinds of relationships.

So, what?

It’s fairly simple: Don’t expect anything to stay as it is. Don’t expect anything to last forever. Don’t want anything to stay as it is and last forever.

That is the first step to being truthful both to yourself and to the relationship.


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