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Like it or not, individuality in our lives is just a subproduct of relationships. For a normal person (and believe me, all of us are normal persons), there is no “personality” unless there is the mirror that we call “other people’s opinions” on which it reflects. In a few words, you only exist when others exist.

Anyway, let’s leave that indroductory generalization and step into the main subject of this post.

Just because “human relationships” are the one and only important thing in our lives (I said, like it or not), I have strong evidence that “love/erotic relationships” are maybe the MOST important thing in our lives. Ok, I may exaggerate a bit, but you can take a look by yourself and see that love relationships have indeed a massive power on our future personalities, in the course of our lives etc.

Love relationships as bookmarks.

Talking about common love relationships, they usually cover a months-long timespan. I say, that personality changes usually occur over similar periods, about 5 months or so (if they happen to occur of course). So, there is a good chance that one of your major personality changes happened on the time between some relationship and another. Now, since love relationships are a scarce thing (you can’t have more than, let’s say, 30 in your life) they tend to be a “shock” memory” in your mind, in other words a thing that always stands out as a point on your imaginary calendar.

Memory works better when you confront it.

But, even if you think that you can remember quite a few things about love relationships of the past, I bet that you only access some fragments of the total memories in your mind. And there is not better way to remember something as good as possible that confronting/discussing/living with the people that shared that memory with you.

Some old love may be the best way to understand yourself.

Call some ex of yours. What? Just by thinking about doing this you feel nervous? You didn’t expect this? Well, not having talked with a person for some years makes you a kind of stranger to them.

Find your ex. In the most kind of ways (because the break up could have been very bad), arrange a friendly rendez-vous.

Then it’s up to you to remember things that you had forgotten, to see sides of you that you hadn’t seen, to stare at a person that once was your lover and understand how things change, to give happiness to some person that you had left out of your life, to put one more piece in the place of that puzzle called “yourself”…

Now really, DO IT! You have nothing to lose and by personal experience it’s one of the most rewarding things that you can do for yourself this month…


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