Skip navigation

Tag Archives: life

I’m constantly hearing about special or wise people, people that are better than the most of us. Let it be scientists, university teachers, modern philosophers, writers, I hear names that seem more important than mine.

And if this wasn’t enough, I even talk with people that think that they are quite something themselves, much different and wiser than the rest of us.

Heck, my experience tells me that generally, nobody is that special. Read More »

People are egoistic in a way that they come to believe that they can arrange future. They schedule without any disbelief over their predictions. They dream and put their feelings on a calendar. People are stupid; You can’t schedule anything.

You are too small.

And the world is too big. It’s just a matter of variables: You are one variable and your environment is infinite variables. Even if you really have control over your actions – which you don’t -, even then how can you control everything else? Our mind is not made to create a future: Just sit back and enjoy the ride

or become angry and dissapointed.

Where do people usually make the mistake of thinking too deep in the future?

  • A romantic relationship: You make dreams for years in the future, for marriage and kids but you can’t predict the wonderful person that will show up tommorow and “steal your heart”.
  • A friendly relationship: You become so much used to a person’s company that you arrange a future based partially on his/her influence. But you can’t predict that you will be bored of him tomorrow/or that he will die in a car crash.
  • A day’s planning: You say that you will go for dinner at night, but you can’t predict that terrible headache that will make you stay at home

Do you get the point? You never had any control over your life: We are spectators and commentators, maybe even actors, but definitely not directors of our life. Read More »

Everyday, while watching my life unfold, I notice various things: One is the beginning of all relationships.

I mean, there is a first time for meeting anyone: Your friends, your lovers, even your parents.

It’s definite that people are of utmost importance to each other. You probably can’t live alone, except if your are a god or a beast. You need others to BE something, you need others to WANT something, you need others to HAVE something. Of course, the overhuman is the one that will surpass all of these limitation, but that’s another subject to open.

So, we can say that:

  1. There is always a first-time meeting for everyone.
  2. Other people are the basis of our lives.

But it’s not only the amount of people that matters. People are different from each other: You can name them one by one, each one of them having a different effect in YOUR life. Read More »

Yesterday, I was in the car going back home. I wasn’t the one driving so I was staring outside the window, the trees, the lights, the road itself. We were going fast – the road seemed like a smooth grey surface, like a calm grey liquid. After a while we slowed down, I was still looking at the road – I was amazed to notice that this lengthy grey road consisted of millions of little grey pieces of rock. I could see them one by one – such detail.

Speed blurs – details are easily lost.

We are living our lives fast. Well, of course this doesn’t happen literally – let me explain. When you drive slowly, you set your eyes to look close, you focus just where you will be in the next second. When you drive fast, in a highway, you look far away, you focus in the distance.

Life works in a same way – When you focus on the far future you make life work itself fast. And there is a big downfall to looking in the future: Since you can’t look in two different places at the same time, you only look in the future and since future does not exist, well, I’m sorry to say but you are not living your life.

Forget the future.

Sit down for a while and look clearly at what the future is: Your wishes! The future does not exist and will never exist – It’s pure air. Your only life is present: even if you are 10 or 50 years old, you were and will always be living your present. I shouldn’t be saying all this: It’s common sense to me but I don’t see many people noticing it.

Just live the moment (Oh, how much do I hate cliches).

For one time in your life do something that will have a direct effect in the present. Example? Are you saving all of your money for the future? You are so funny – perhaps you haven’t heard that we only exist in present: Go out and spent some of your money for fun – Yeah, it’s worth it!

How to get rid of the speed-blur effect.

Slow down. A car that drives fast will reach its destination too soon – that’s not exactly good for a human’s life, if you know what I mean. πŸ™‚

Photo by http://www.flickr.com/photos/adrian_s/21407986/

(…) Keep Ithaka always in your mind.
Arriving there is what you are destined for.
But do not hurry the journey at all.
Better if it lasts for years,
so you are old by the time you reach the island,
wealthy with all you have gained on the way,
not expecting Ithaka to make you rich.

Ithaka gave you the marvelous journey.
Without her you would not have set out.
She has nothing left to give you now.

And if you find her poor, Ithaka won’t have fooled you.
Wise as you will have become, so full of experience,
you will have understood by then what these Ithakas mean.

C. P. Cavafy – Ithaka

Let me use a personal experience for example.

This year’s January I met a woman. I really fell in love with her immediately. I must also say that I was quite a lucky person: everything went fine in a way that it was scary – I was always in the right place at the right time. Anyway, we came close to each other in a friendly way in a span of three months. One day, when she wasn’t expecting it, I confessed to her: “I’m in love with you”. Needless to say, this changed many things such as the way we talked to each other but still I was seeing no progress at becoming a couple. In May, I could count 5 months since I met her: We had some great moments together, I learned many things, I got to know a great person – but there was no way that we would be a couple. I quite ended this.

It’s the road that matters…

Do you think that I feel bad about things not resulting as I wanted them to? Well, at some moments I felt bad – but now I can only be happy about the road that we walked together with that person. It was a path full of experiences that will make me much wiser in the future. What would be different if we got to be a couple?: Well, we would kiss each other, have sex and then, after some months, break up. You see, the whole interesting part is when you meet someone. I had fun, believe me! πŸ™‚

Reader says to after you wake up author: “Man! You are lying to yourself!”.

Dear reader. I know that I didn’t win this battle. I know that I didn’t experience the other half of the relationship. But, why am I lying to myself? Failing at something may not seem like failing from another point of view.

Let me be a little more intriguing. Imagine that just after writing this post I meet some other great woman that is much greater than the previous one (It actually happened to me the previous days πŸ™‚ ). This time, I know how to act better and achieve my goal: I establish a true erotic relationship. If things went differently for me with the first woman, I would have missed something else that would be better. And who knows where things would lead to?

I know that this could be again seen as lying to myself, but what is “lie” and “truth” when you are talking about possibilities.

The way to Ithaka.

Concentrate on the road itself, that’s the right thing to do. It’s not the destination that will make you wise but the whole pack of experiences that you gain walking towards your finale. The destination is nothing more that the end of a journey and the beginning of a new one.

Don’t feel bad about not always achieving your goals. Trying to achieve something is really providing you with valuable experience.

How to give a new meaning to your everyday life?

Think like a stupid person that lies to himself: That is possibilities!

I will just say one thing: Think of a great moment in your life. Now, we accept that everything that happens at a certain moment in one’s life is the result of every micro-decision and action that he/she made in the past. Now, find some bad moments and situations in the time before the great moment. What does this tell us? Every good thing in your life is the result of both good and bad moments in the past. Every “road of life” is so unique that without all those bad moments you wouldn’t have reached the greatest ones.

What should we learn?

Always focus on the way to YOUR Ithaka and don’t forget that Ithakas change. Also, love all your moments: Good or bad. It’s both that will bring you to your destination.

Cavafy’s Ithaka can be found here: http://www.cavafy.com/poems/content.asp?id=74&cat=1