I’m constantly hearing about special or wise people, people that are better than the most of us. Let it be scientists, university teachers, modern philosophers, writers, I hear names that seem more important than mine.
And if this wasn’t enough, I even talk with people that think that they are quite something themselves, much different and wiser than the rest of us.
Heck, my experience tells me that generally, nobody is that special. Read More »
Like it or not, individuality in our lives is just a subproduct of relationships. For a normal person (and believe me, all of us are normal persons), there is no “personality” unless there is the mirror that we call “other people’s opinions” on which it reflects. In a few words, you only exist when others exist.
Anyway, let’s leave that indroductory generalization and step into the main subject of this post.
Just because “human relationships” are the one and only important thing in our lives (I said, like it or not), I have strong evidence that “love/erotic relationships” are maybe the MOST important thing in our lives. Ok, I may exaggerate a bit, but you can take a look by yourself and see that love relationships have indeed a massive power on our future personalities, in the course of our lives etc. Read More »
Everyday, while watching my life unfold, I notice various things: One is the beginning of all relationships.
I mean, there is a first time for meeting anyone: Your friends, your lovers, even your parents.
It’s definite that people are of utmost importance to each other. You probably can’t live alone, except if your are a god or a beast. You need others to BE something, you need others to WANT something, you need others to HAVE something. Of course, the overhuman is the one that will surpass all of these limitation, but that’s another subject to open.
So, we can say that:
But it’s not only the amount of people that matters. People are different from each other: You can name them one by one, each one of them having a different effect in YOUR life. Read More »
You know that voice right? – That voice inside you that always tells you what NOT to do: “Don’t stand up for your right!“, “Don’t punch that idiot that made you feel bad!“, “Don’t talk to that woman that you like“.
Don’t, don’t and don’t. Believe me, any kind of positive change is always a sum of various DOs!
The nature of the voice.
I would call that voice an expression of you inner fears. It’s just a mechanism that prevents you from taking unnecessary risks. That may would have worked in a life with constant danger but in our society fear can only hold you back. Accept the fact that fear has held you back many times in your life: It has happened to anyone of us. Can’t you find any people in your past that were very “free” and always had the good stuff happening around them? Read More »
Everyday-life situations is what “feeds” us with experiences; That’s what our personality needs to grow up. Definitely every normal day should be full of those, but you can be amazed at how much experience you can gain from “your past” itself.
Let me propose three interesting ways to “squeeze” every experience-goodness from your past life:
1. The photo album
I generally don’t like photographs: They are like worshiping a mere moment of life, they are many times very “set up” and they can also make you feel bad (especially if you are old). But photographs have an amazing power to dig the deepest memories in your mind. You can be shocked at how many things you have forgotten over the last years, just by taking a look at a photo album.
How do we gain experience from that? By looking at yourself in a picture you look someone with different thoughts than you, someone that would react differently to many things. You can compare you to that person (your past self) and see where you have improved and where you should have. You can look at yourself from a third-person point of view and probably out of an emotionally-charged state: Mistake back then? – Mistake if you repeat it again.
Check out also the people around you in the photos. Remember what they said back then? Did they stand up to their words? Did they behave badly? Do you recognise any signs of bad behavior in your photos? Don’t forget the behavioral patterns of others and you won’t be late to react for a second time.
2. Your diaries/poems/personal notes.
These three things are possibly the most emotional remnants of your past. Read a love poem that you wrote one year ago. Remember when you were crying back then about a woman? Now, does she worth anything in your life? Probably not: Learn that emotions are quite temporary. Also learn that many times our intense feelings tend to “blind” our valuable logic. Generally, compare your “emotional-blinded” self with your present one. Gain experience and act better in the future.
3. The discussions
Grab a person that was close to you in the past and take him/her out for a coffee. Should it be your ex-girlfriend, your ex-boyfriend or a friend that isn’t anymore, it doesn’t matter. Sit in a table and talk about your common experiences in the past. Ask him about how he perceived things back then from his/her point of view: Compare that with your own thought of back then. Do you see how many times we may not understand what people are thinking? If this doesn’t fill you with everyday-applicable experience, then you probably are deaf and blind: Consult a doctor. 🙂
“A wise man does not make the same mistake for a second time“. That’s what people say; I agree. Learn from your past and act accordingly in the present. But always have in mind that what’s “good” for someone may not also be “good” for you. You may judge things only in perspective with YOUR ideals: Dogmas and “unproven truths” aren’t “good” for smart people. 😉
After you wake up. 